Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
