my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
