grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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