dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
