My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
