my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
