Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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