So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
