Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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