We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
