We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
