you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
not ubering you a puppy
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
