Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
