I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize