So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Two words: blizzard sex
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
