If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
