We're facebook friends in real life
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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