Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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