She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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