Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
