I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
