turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
