He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize