Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
