i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
being pregnant is like rehab
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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