He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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