Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you made out with another girl for some wings
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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