Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
