Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
