Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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