she was so not down for the gang bang
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
