I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
