so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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