i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
