guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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