I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
