No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
