if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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