this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
