I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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