He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
