She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
