Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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