it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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