its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
