I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
