You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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