i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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