if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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