i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
