I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
