he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
