You're so nebulous sometimes
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
