maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
