every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
