Only a mothe r could love this liver
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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