and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
