it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
