it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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