four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
