But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
