i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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