so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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