Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
