GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
