Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
