she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize