i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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