Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just invented taco cereal.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize