Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can text with my tongue
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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