There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
