when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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