He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
