i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
