So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
