I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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