i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
