We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
