so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
