if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
