is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
