is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
