I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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