I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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