Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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