garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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